4 Things You Need to Know About Dating a Transgender

dating trans women

Do you think dating a transgender is a different experience than dating cis-gendered people? It is not uncommon to find that most people think dating between these two groups is different. But dating a transgender is really just like dating anyone else. Although most people think otherwise, the essentials of dating are still the same as that of non-trans people.

Of course there are some little differences and preferences that vary from person to person. Before you set out on a journey to date a trans person, it is important to know some important things that will help your relationship to last longer. But first things first.

Is it transphobic to refuse to date a trans person

There have been a lot of arguments about whether it is transphobic to decline a dating request from a trans once they inform you of their gender change. Dating as a trans person using online platforms such as tinder can be useful in finding potential mates. Not all people feel comfortable stating that they are transgender. In such cases, the fact that a potential partner is likely to be revealed in a date. A lot of trans people have revealed the different responses that they get once they reveal that they are transgender to a potential suitor. While some will be cool with the idea and may not have problems, others will show their utter disappointment and may even decide to walk out on the date.

Some people will play cool and complete the date but will still have a problem with the fact. The issue of whether it is transphobic or not will be up to you. Some trans people argue that refusing a date with a transgender can be equated to racism. This is because refusing to date a trans means that you are rejecting them not because of their attractive qualities but your prejudice towards them.

Its like finding out that your long-time partner isn’t a Caucasian but their parents are actually African American. In such a case, most people would argue that it is racist for you to break off the relationship and this also applies to trans people. For some, however, they believe that everyone has a right to choose whoever they want and a person is free to decide if they want to date a trans or not. The ultimate answer to this question still remains subjective, meaning its different for all people whether they are trans or not.

4 things to know before dating a trans person

There are a couple of things that you should know and consider before you choose to settle with a transgender. These include

1. Learn the basics before dating

Nothing is as unattractive as knowing nothing about trans people and wanting your date to explain everything about them to you. Do some tiny bit of research before you go on a date and your potential partner will thank you for that. A simple three second Google search will save you a lot of trouble and may even earn you some points with your potential partner. You may think that you have a lot of knowledge about trans people and how it is to be one but this can be a simple mirage.

A lot of us get our knowledge from pop media but these are not good information sources, For example, you might learn about trans people in your favorite sit come or even through the adult videos that you watch but these sources can easily misinform you. Pay Wikipedia a visit and try to learn about this medical condition where the brain is not in tandem with the matched gender of the person. Remember, most trans people are trying to get hooked up not give you educational lectures.

2. Your partner is much more than a trans

know about-transgender-people

A major mistake that most people make is not separating the trans gender from who they are as a person. Why is this so? Some people may have the fetish of dating or screwing a transgender person and while there is nothing wrong with that, it objectifies your date. Sure, you might have a strong desire for a trans person or even have a fantasy for a transgender. Your date is, however, not there to fulfill your fantasies or to satiate your gratification.

At the end of the day, you must recognize that this person does not exist to fulfill your desires. In fact, do not be alarmed when your date takes off after you treat them like a fetish you want to fulfill. Ensure that you see them for who they are, human beings like you with wants, likes and dislikes. Like dating other people, acknowledging this will help you also fulfill some of the needs and desires you have. Unless both of you do not seek anything deeper, get to learn your partners needs and try to know more about them.

3. Know what they are comfortable with and respect the set boundaries

Trans people are met with a lot of assumptions, incorrect terms and even contempt. Although this also works with cishet people, it is extremely important to avoid assuming some things with a trans person. For example, you should always ask what pronouns they are comfortable with such as he/him or she/her. Also, ensure that the other person is comfortable before you decide to get physical with them.

Body dysphoria is a common condition among trans people. This is a condition where a person is not comfortable with either their primary or secondary sex characteristics, which means they are uncomfortable with some parts of their body. A trans man may not be comfortable with you touching his chest while a trans woman may not also feel comfy with you touching or even looking at her vagina. Crossing the set boundaries will not only turn them off but may also make them angry.

4. You will be judged

People you know are bound to find out that you are dating a trans person unless the trans is really stealth about it. Furthermore, it is only natural that the person you are dating will want to be introduced to your family if you date for a long time. Denying them this chance only means that you are ashamed of them so you should be ready for the social stigma that is associated with trans people.

How do you deal with this? Be bold about it. You will find some ignorant people who may think that you are gay but be ready to honor that part of you. Your partner will thank you. In some parts of the world, however, the consequences could be severe such as being ostracized or even physical harm. Do all you can to protect yourself but never blame your trans partner, it’s not their fault.